Losing it in Utah now.

It's been fluctuating a lot because, well, I keep catching these bugs! I'm gaining and then bam! diarrhea and nausea and not wanting to eat and such. Bleh. I mean, great, it means lower numbers on the scale but those pounds come back and they like bringing friends.

I'm sticking to my WW journal instead now. Just to make sure I eat right and eat enough.

In the meantiiiime, I found this really neat YouTube Video about what 200 calories look like and some calories mean more than others (empty calories vs. nutrient rich calories).

Mmm, broccoli. Also apples give me the runs. But bananas don't and I've been eating a lot of those.

Eating healthy is so much easier when you like what you eat...

Last time I went to the doctor, he said I needed to lose weight. "What's your weight loss goal?" he asked and I spouted off 130. Good for a woman over 30, yannow? According to the outdated BMI charts that were initially just for judging the quality of the 18 year old men enlisted into the military for WWI. Oh yes. If there's a poll out there for updating the BMI chart, I'd like to sign it.

Anyways, he was shocked at the answer and he repeated himself, "What is your weight loss goal for the end of the summer?" Oh. 170. If I can get there by September, I'll be gold. And I charted it out as soon as I got home.

I'm on Weight Watchers Online and if I stick to the plan, I can be at 180 by the time I head out to California in mid July!

It's been a rough week though. Between fights and fillings and drillings and lady bit exams that stuck me to the ceiling, I have kind of been stress eating. And then Father's Day noms and my birthday next Sunday, I'm going to have to work like a dog to get to that 180 in time! Ugh. And I've been struggling to actually keep from falling into a body-shaming malaise. Not anyone else's, I have an indiscriminate eye when it comes to OTHER people but then--well, story time.

Last weekend I went to the Utah Scotland and Highlander Festival. Damsel In This Dress was there and after far too long dreaming of being svelte enough to buy a corset from her (and I mean, it's been YEARS and YEARS that I have wanted a corset from her) I decided that sometimes you have to stop putting off living and just go and enjoy yourself, no matter what.

I know that causes some people to want to put a big fat DISAGREE on my forehead because that goes against so much but, well, after so many years and having gotten so close yet so far, well, I'm going to  keep the goal and give myself another prize for getting there. Maybe another corset.

So here I am again. almost 3 years and 30 pounds later. Hi.