Losing it in Utah now.

Phew, another tough day of running but you know, 20 minutes of jogging = 3 points? Awesome! I can get that with 45 minutes of walking, too. But hey, jogging is quicker!

So Roni had another Food For Thought:

Do you think visualizing weight loss is important and if so, how do you do it?

Well, what has helped keep me jogging when I would rather just quit and walk instead (though I will quit jogging to make the big black lab keep looking for home and not for a small blond girl to chomp on becuz she's running which equals prey) is visualizing the bad food falling off of me. All those Junior Mints I ate while watching The Forbidden Kingdom yesterday? It all just fell off of me while I ran, or so I visualized, and it helped me feel lighter or at least I pretended that it did. Too much spaghetti? That also fell off. Pizza? That Fufu berry Jones Soda? Splashing on the concrete. It really helped motivate me.

But that's not quite what Roni was aiming for. She mentioned that she actually put up a little virtual model of her weightloss goal in the sidebar of her blog way back in the beginning. And I have to admit, I like playing with the Virtual Model. Especially the "That's where I was, here's where I am, there's where I'm going" part. But it seems to be somewhat broken so I'll post my then, now, soon models when I get the Virtual Model to work.

But speaking of Then, I found some old CDs with pictures in them from LPN school. Whoooh! Chubbo Kit! And the things I wore! Big tunics that came down to my knees, that doesn't make me look any better/taller. Yuck. I'm glad I threw those out.

Ah, it worked.


So, there's the goal. I was there before when my kidney went out and this time I'll do it by eating right, staying healthy, and keeping up with myself.

Did I mention that I love to exercise? For real? I really do.

Podrunner Intervals - Week 4 and I ran it! I did not let Lazy Brat even say a word. No "I'm tired" "I can't find my sunglasses" "It's bright out" or anything else. It was me and Skinny Babe running.

"It's nice and cool outside, isn't it?"
"Look how green everything is!"
"You just ran FIVE MINUTES STRAIGHT, HOW COOL IS THAT!?"

And just to show you how it went:
BPM CHART:
5-minute warmup @ 129 bpm
3 minutes @ 140 bpm
90 seconds @ 130 bpm
5 minutes @ 140 bpm
2 minutes 30 seconds @ 130 bpm
3 minutes @ 140 bpm
90 seconds @ 130 bpm
5 minutes @ 140 bpm
Two minute cooldown @ 130 bpm

At the end, my legs were just moving like heavy pendulums and I wanted to walk so bad but I didn't. I think I deserve some fun time downtown for doing this.

As for my weight, well, um, it's kind of been fluctuating like crazy. I was 165.2 at Weight Watchers but the next day I was 163.4 on my home scale which is always about 0.5 pounds off from the WW scales so, well, it's coming off one way or another.

And because I can't think of much else to post, I'll just give you Michael Nelson AS Lord of the Dance!

It struck me after my Podrunner today, as I was washing my very red face, that I wasn't wheezing. What? No wheezing, no coughing for a few hours until my lungs cleared, no rolling my eyes at myself? Nope. I am clear. And I am incredibly grateful for that. I feel like I've won back some freedom, freedom from my own bad habits and abuse to my body. One less shackle. It may have been the fact that I attempted to eat a little yogurt before I went out so I'd have some protein to work with but I still think this is a bit of a miracle.

I took a less hilly route. Up to the new development, around the loop, down Stockade St. to Trail, across Monterey Way to Sharon Dr, across Stetson, around the loop there and back home, which is a full 2 miles and then some and I ran out of Podrunner at about 1.7 miles but that's alright. I managed to push through every running set, which are now 90 seconds long instead of 60 (oh yeah, laugh, but this little pony doesn't prance a whole lot). I saw all sorts of awesome things:

- A large, fat squirrel who was vaguely bemused and quite sure of himself, knowing he could easily out run me if I even thought to chase him.

- A Chevy truck that I think was made in the 1940s. No, seriously, a restored Chevy truck that works quite well. I think they have a parade of restored old cars because it's not the only vehicle I've seen here that looks like it's straight out of a Buster Keaton film.

- A wooden tombstone leaning against a tree inscribed with the following words: "Here lies the last dog that pooped in our yard!" (*snerk*)

- And the whole world it seems paused at the very precipice of blooming spring, like a dancer waiting for her cue. I think when I go running again on Wednesday, I'll be running among a confetti of blossoms.

You know, it was hard to get out and go today. I wanted to stay home, take a bath, do some reading, watch TV. And even as I was out, a small part of me was whining, "I'm tired. My left hip hurts. My knee wants to hurt. It's bright outside. It's going to be so hot on Wednesday. Running is hard, let's keep walking. Let's take the short way home," and so on, ad nauseum. But then there was an even smaller part of me going "Man, I lost 2.2 pounds last week. I even got a hug from my WW teacher! And it's so nice outside. I'm glad it's 47 degrees out, the air's so crisp and look how green everything is. And I feel so very good! And maybe I should take up Tae Kwon Do again, it would be a lot easier this time around."

It's a struggle. I find I hate and love running for all the above reasons. But I am on the path of forgiving myself for all the years of abuse I've put my body through. I'm rewarding myself with good health and a long life. And I am growing.

Last night I decided that the cold would not stop me from getting that last day of Podrunner Intervals Week 1 done. I headed into the basement, put on a tv show and got on the old treadmill. Let me tell you, walking and jogging on a treadmill is far more treacherous than walking and jogging out of doors. I kept having to grab onto the bar when switching to keep from tripping. And then I had to keep shifting the speed of the treadmill. But on the other hand, I wasn't freezing, I didn't run up hills, and at the meeting this morning, I had dropped 2.2 pounds. Awesome!

I'm so keeping this up, though. And next week it will be warmer. I hope.

I didn't realize on Monday with Podrunner: Intervals that one is supposed to alternately walk and jog! I am not a runner but DJ Steve does not make you run hard or long, it's more of a prance. But me being the wheezy person I am, I had to walk through one and a half jog-sessions. A half hour later, I'm still coughing and wheezing but I think that'll improve once allergy season passes. But I feel so very AMAZING! No wonder runners get addicted, this is definitely a most marvelous high. And somehow it boosted my spiritual closeness too.

So I am keeping it up. Perhaps this Prancing Pony can prance all the way through a 5k!

I was so incredibly bad this weekend. No point counting and so much garbage in. And when I fill myself with garbage, that's how I feel. Like garbage. Uuugh. I'm sure I'm not alone and even Roni covered the same sort of feeling. When you eat poorly, you feel poorly. It's so much easier to say 'no' to bad food when you're on a high, like it's harder to diss yourself when you're feeling good.

So today is a new start. For one, I started Podrunner Intervals. I'm on Day 1 of Week 1 and it was really a lot of fun. It progressively gets faster but it goes up and down so that you're only going REALLY FAST for a little bit.

Tomorrow, I do some muscle toning exercises. If you use it, you lose it. ;)

I have been very slacking in tracking my points and that means that I'm stuck. My sick-weight-loss all came back, which is fine by me, honestly. I knew it was all water and as soon as I could drink my 2-liter-a-day quota, it would all come back. But I guess I'm still somewhat discouraged because I honestly did not bother with points much this week.

In what seems an unrelated series of events, I smashed my iPod in my car (just the top part so the screen is 90% broken but will still flicker a little bit of info if I can find the right part to push, like a tense muscle). And days before that incident, my desktop with all my music and podcasts blue-screened without any hope of return despite what my mother and brother can really do.

So I'm enduring well enough but I had to resubscribe to various podcasts on my laptop (yes, I realize I'm a big spoiled brat, get over it) and realized that Podrunner had something that came out in January (shows how well I pay attention). It's called Podrunner Intervals. It's a program to take people off the couch and on their way to 5k. Each podcast is 20 minutes and goes through a series of speeds and encourages running.

I hate running. I have always hated running but there's something I have learned in my age, sometimes the things you hate can become things you like, perhaps even run. And if other people can do it, so can I. In fact, the one runner I really look up to is my sister. She's had three children and still runs like a gazelle out on the Sahara (that's where one finds them, right?). If she can do it, so can I. Perhaps as I lose weight, I can also lose this asthma that I have found to have. It's just a touch, not anything that needs medicating. It came out during Tae Kwon Do and it was hard to breathe when I had to run, but I knew how to power through it and I knew when to stop just a bit to keep going.

The weather is improving, let's go!