Losing it in Utah now.

Well, I was quite surprised to find that it was rather effective, attempting to limit my refined sugar. It was a weak attempt, I have to admit because there were times that I indulged. But I will try again this week to limit the amount of sweets that I eat and try to find healthier alternatives.

I am such a spoiled brat inside, you know that? I wonder if we all have these inner spoiled brats, the ones demanding for this or that thing. The ones that pull urgently at our shirts until we go to the chips and candy aisle, pointing out one thing after another and throwing a temper tantrum until we give in. The ones that know all the best treats in all the worst places.

I need to give my own inner spoiled brat a very good talking to and a time out. If only I knew how. But what works is when I'm dying for something sweet, I have cherries and grapes and pineapples and Fuji apples to sate me instead and then though I still crave the sweet, I am content with far less. Just three M&Ms (no really) and a small bowl of grapes and I'm good!

What other secrets do people employ to satisfy our inner spoiled brats?

I went out to Mimi's Cafe with my aunt for lunch and we got to talking about dieting habits that worked for us. I'm sure that it wasn't the best topic when we were intending to semi-blow the diet for lunch (I still managed to stay on point a little) but conversations are free range and tend to go anywhere.


Aunt Lea mentioned that the only time she really lost weight was when she began cutting out refined sugars. I thought about it and have been thinking about it since. It's a big sore spot, this sweet tooth of mine. I always have a desire for more and more sweets when I don't really need them. So if I can just cut down until I can cut it out entirely, that may really lend itself to more effective weight loss.


So now I am on Sugar Probation. I will allow myself 3 points of refined sugar a day this week instead of splurging and try to find healthy alternatives to sate my crazy sweet tooth.

I changed my weigh in day for Saturday mornings. It's easier that way and I feel like I don't have to starve myself all day on Tuesday for an evening meeting, especially when I have knit nights every other Tuesday that I would rather not miss.

I have been buckling down on tracking and exercise. Every MWF is my 3 mile walk day. I will usually have my phone with me hooked into Pandora and listen to that while I walk along. It's beautiful but it has also been getting warmer and I can't wear my jacket which means the phone has to go in the only pocket available, the bra. It makes it just a little damp and I worry about damage to the phone but so far so good, the phone has survived the cleavage carry. I love the walk, it's so pretty, I live in gorgeous country.

On TRSs, I do Jillian's 30 day shred. It's a tough one and I still work on mastering the advanced levels and I'm doing better at pushups from the toes rather than the knees but still I struggle a good bit. And sweat! I'm thinking when i'm older, I'll be like my mom and sweat like I'd just taken a shower while putting on makeup! Ugh, I hope not.

But all in all, I feel fantastic. I have firmer thighs, tentatively bulging deltoids and I have energy every morning!


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Okay, sometimes the exercise is so hard, there is no actual physical advantage to even half-heartedly attempting it. *sighs and goes back to Level 2 of Jillian Michael's 30-day shred*

It's so muggy out that my 3 mile walk was a little damp and uncomfortable. As was the 2 near misses by the rather crazy Utah drivers around here. I could be out in the middle of the field and a car would probably STILL buzz me. Graaagh! Still, done.

Sadly, at WW, I gained 0.4 pounds. :( So much for my 5 pound weight loss. But I think I just did too much exercising and...well, eating too.

At least I have shoulder muscles! Woo!

After gaining a little last week, I lost 1.4 pounds this week, putting me at 157.8 pounds, which is FIVE POUNDS from when I started at 162.8 pounds. Yes!


What worked? Exercise worked. You don't need a gym pass, you don't need anything but a pair of good shoes and you can walk in street clothes to wherever. But I like workout videos. And my video has helped a LOT. I wake up every morning with energy and anticipation for working out yet again. I love my muscles. I love getting into fresh-washed jeans without having to really struggle.

Y'know, the hardest part is journaling though. But it has also really helped so much to be faithful to the journal. I can see where I'm at, I can see where I'm going. I can control myself and my diet better this way.

I AM in control. I AM responsible. I CAN be my goal weight!

I lost 2 pounds at the last weigh-in, hooray! And when I put the new weight into my WW, I lost a point as well! So now I'm 21 points instead of 22 and I celebrated with a bit of, uh, binging. I'm not sure what went wrong in my head. I just clicked and decided to eat.

I'll be much better today. I promise.


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Ugh. Just ugh.

Yesterday I was feeling pretty dang blue in the evening so I went to town. Disregarded all points and ate like my heart was broken, which it WASN'T. And I'm not an emotional eater because that crap doesn't work on me. But heck, there was food there and why not? By the way, lower-fat chips still don't do a thing if you eat a lot of them. Just food for thought.

Today I'm being very good. At least, as good as I can be without recording my points, oh for shame on me.

I'm going to do better, really! :(

I have to admit that today was kind of a toss-away day. Once mom and I got home, we went to town with Sandies, spaghetti, and PB M&Ms. But at least we both had good news. Despite gaining 5 pounds of cast, mom only gained 2 pounds according to the WW scale so she lost 3. And obvious, I lost 2 pounds myself. I am quite proud of myself.

This week I plan on continuing to journal. :) Online or on the paper, it's good to have it around. I am going to try something new, as well. I am going to plan what I will eat and do my very best to stick to it.

I hope this works out, it would be nice if it did. :)

I should also stop watching Food Network at night. *coff*

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So here it is, the day before weigh-in. Have I learned control in 7 days? No. I had two brownies (5 points a piece) just today to go with my 6" Black Forest Ham Sub sammich from Subway.

I guess there isn't much one can expect after a mere 7 days. However, here is a small list of things I do know about me:

- I know that I get 'hungry' when I am tired or bored. Particularly at work, I tend to just eat and eat when it's late.

- Sometimes I just want a *taste* of something. The best way to deal with this is tea. I love Rooibos but Zhena's Gypsy Teas has a little something more: Luminous Lemon which has a bit of a chamomile aftertaste and really a beautiful, well-rounded tea. And perfect for the warmer weather! I also recommend the Red Lavendar, the Pumpkin Spice, and the Caramel Apple, the latter two being more appropriate for when the cold chill of fall comes to change the leaves their different colors.

- I do dislike running. I love to walk much better even if it takes longer. I guess I'll just never be a marathoner but I'm okay with that. Really. I'll just exercise with videos. Much better, less dust in the eyes and up the nose and in the mouth. Less worry about it being too hot or cold. And no public humiliation.

We'll see what the damage is tomorrow!

Though my Kidneyversary was Wednesday, I celebrated yesterday. I had some good friends over for New Moon with Rifftrax and to celebrate, they brought cupcakes. I had one Team Edward cupcake (yellow confetti cake with white icing that had been generously coated in sprinkles and white sugar for that "sparkle" effect) and two Team Jacob cupcakes (brown, without icing or "topless" and with some filling in the middle for that "surprise inside"). I shouldn't have, I really shouldn't but, well, when a friend brings goodies, I can't say no.

So once again I went over points. Good thing I walk every day! XD

Today I overate by 7 points. I got hungry, broke into the Bliss chocolates and just didn't stop.

*sigh* I have a problem with control, clearly. So how do I fix it?

Mom and I joined Weight Watchers again. It's costly at $40 a month but it was so effective the last time I did it, more effective than anything I've used before that I figure I might as well get back on the wagon.

My ideal is to lose 2 pounds a week consistently. I doubt that will happen but I can always give it my best shot. :)

So, I started out at the 6pm meeting at 162.8 pounds. This is about 2 pounds heavier than I was this morning but since it was 6pm and I was wearing my street clothes and I...*ahem* bulked up a little (I was starving!), I am perfectly fine with this.

The meeting was certainly different from the one in Lawrence. There were a few things that bugged me a little:

1 - It does not take 4 laps around a track to burn off ONE Peanut M&M. 5 PB M&Ms (my favorite!) is one point. 15 minutes of walking is one point. To burn off one Peanut M&M you probably need to walk up the stairs of your home or apartment. But I know the point she was trying to make. Junk food does take up a lot of calories or points and when you know how much effort you expend in exercise, you are motivated to be more conservative with what you eat.

2 - Yes. You CAN lose weight without having to exercise. It's not a sin to avoid exercise and lose weight without bothering to take a single step outside. But realize that muscle burns calories even while at rest and a lot more while moving than fat which burns nothing at all. But I've seen plenty of thin girls. No fat and very little muscle, but thin as a rail. It's not impossible. HOWEVER! It will be harder to keep that weight off because you have nothing but your diet to fall back on if you gain.

That was a few of the things that came up. But while at the meeting, I also realized that I have slipped a lot and it's so vital that I actually journal my food. I have to be on top of my food. I can eat whatever but I have GOT to keep track. And being accountable will help me keep in control.

On December 5, 2009, I ran my first 5k. I ran it with a friend and she did more walking than I was intending and the two of us came in at around 45 minutes. Next time I run one (and I do intend to run one), I want to run it straight. No walking AT ALL. So I have been working up to it. I can run 10 minutes straight now, which is about 3/4 a mile. I have been working on making it a habit now to do it. Some days are harder than others but even when I don't feel like running, I tell myself "Well, how hard would it be to just walk?" and I get on the treadmill and 90% of the time, I get moving a little faster and a little faster and soon I'm running. :) It's all a mental thing.

Speaking of mental, I love this article:
Real Foods Take On Fake Fake Foods. I am not a fan of "healthier" substitutes. I am a fan of REAL foods. Butter instead of margarine. Sugar instead of Sweet'n'Low or whatever the heck is out there. It isn't the "real foods" that are killing you, it's eating them in excess and in bad proportions to healthy foods like fruit and vegetables.

By the way...

154.2 lbs. Not bad.

Before I go too much farther, I would like everyone to see the very first post from my journey. Starting Over. Go on, I'll wait.

Back? Pretty grim, I should say. All that fat on my waist. I was incredibly pear shaped. My back hurt when I slept. My size 16 jeans were tight. I shied away from the mirror. And I looked so old.

I recently set up my camera to take photographs and after quite a few, I finally got a picture that was satisfactory. I didn't smile for the camera because I really don't know how to yet. That will come with practice.



I'm wearing size 12 and they're barely staying on. My face has slimmed down, I can run without staying winded for long, my back is only sore because I upped my work-out weights and it went away quickly. I'm sleeping better, I'm doing better and I hope to keep progressing. :)

I had all sorts of goodies. Sis gave mom and me a little bag of cheesecake Hershey Kisses to share. Thanks, love.

I had half of the last Utah orange truffle.

I had quite a few M&Ms.

Mom and I split a 4-pack of chocolate covered strawberries.

And I ate a whole caramel almond chocolate covered apple. *sigh*

And tomorrow will be better. I will behave myself like a proper person who does not gorge on chocolate covered fruit. But today was fun and I made memories and the food was very good. Can't blame me for that.

What are you loving about the process right now?

Roni asked this the other day and I have to admit that I do struggle to find what I love about running. It's hard. I sweat like my mother, I get so damp, I have to breathe hard and sometimes I even get a painful stitch in the side (though I use Coach Jenny's suggestions and I exhale when my foot hits the treadmill opposite to the stitch and it goes away within about thirty seconds). It's hard, it's exhausting...and a TOTAL HIGH.

I am getting reacquainted with how absolutely delicious I feel after I run. I want to push myself to run fast but I realize that how fast I go doesn't matter. What matters is that I move! And with the help of Podrunner Intervals, I am moving better, farther, and even faster.

And I am losing weight! I feel good, I am getting a 'star' every day, I have only skipped one or two days because though I exercise every day, I don't get all the exercise I need.

I do struggle with journaling, though, to be honest. I don't think I have actually written down a full day of food for a week. I also had to skip my WW meeting this Tuesday due to a prior engagement and honestly, Tuesday evenings are JUST not my best times.

BUT! I am going to go to the other meeting center I went to before (and received a bad impression) on Saturday morning. I do hope that I have done well enough for all the exercise I put in and made up for going to Wingers last night (icky food, not going again).

You know, though, I'm loving the process. I am taking it a step at a time and I'm rejoicing in my transformation. :)

So after a week of getting back into running again and I mean, I was starting from step ONE, I am feeling the hope again. Monday and Tuesday were the worst days in terms of muscle aches. And man, when my Aunt Sally grabbed my leg (totally friendly greeting), I nearly jumped through the roof! But Wednesday was better. I took a hot bath after I cooled down from the run and my legs were feeling better. And Friday, no pain at all! I'm not losing much weight (and yes, I so gained from the hotel, yikes) because the muscle is coming back, but I think that once my body gets into it, I'll start losing again, answering my challenge of 158 pounds by the end of this month.

I was thinking of some January challenges though. Maybe begin giving up chocolate. it would be incredibly hard. It would be something I would have to start doing hour by hour. It would have to see me through Valentine's. But I hear that one does begin to stop craving it, stop missing it.

Could I get some suggestions on how to do it? Because if I can cut out the chocolate, that would really cut down on a whole lot of empty calories that I tend to sprinkle into my day.

I have a tentative relationship with my scale. Right now, I try to keep myself from weighing myself MORE than every other day. I fret over that number a lot when I really don't need to. It's just a number.

I think I need a different scale. One that doesn't give me numbers but encouragement and praise. One like the one over on Roni’s Weight Loss Blog. So I'm signing up in hopes of getting a free one. I don't *need* it, I have actual self control but dang, this thing sounded adorable. So here's my entry.

I entered the Mary Lou's Weigh Platform Giveaway!

Check out Roni’s Weight Loss Blog for more information.

I hope I get one. If only I knew who Mary Lou was.

So, it's the perfect day for setting some goals, right? So here are mine:

1. Get down to 158 pounds again by December 30.
2. Start running again*.
3. Get into the habit of journaling with WW.

* Okay, I woke up this morning and I immediately thought "There is no way I am going out there to run. It is cold, I'm not used to the altitude and it's warm in my bed." But strangely enough, I woke up in time TO run and couldn't go back to sleep. Oh well, I'd just get up, maybe walk the dog, eat some breakfast. But as soon as I got out of my room and heading for the stairs I realized that WOW, I had some ENERGY! And suddenly I thought "Oh well, it's not like it'll take long." I shoved on my workout clothes, put on my large Westbrook Martial Arts Academy sweatshirt and set my iPod for Podrunner Intervals: First Day to 5k Week 1. Yes, starting from scratch.

But you know, I don't think I could have gone past that. I had a struggle just running in 60 second intervals! But it felt good to run and yes, it was cold but I warmed up. And everything was so tired after, but there was that buzz, the adrenaline, and that feeling that I didn't just improve my body, but I strengthened my spirit.

If I can keep this up regularly, I will be ready for a 5k in 10 weeks. So...mid February. I might sign up for a run then and see if I can't get my friend Kristy involved too. She's a triathlon babe, it'd be fun to run with her. :D

And who knows. I might have lost a little more weight by then.